Monday, September 5, 2011

The one that ends with parenthood...

Monday August 8th I am checking facebook at work, that's right I'm a rebel, and I notice that on the Families Supporting Adoption (FSA) group there is a new post. Being a good little FSA member I jump over there to see what is up. And there it was, a simple notice....

"The Mesa agency has been recently informed of a potential placement of a baby with Down Syndrome born two days ago. If you are currently certified and would like to be in the pool of couples considered for this placement please let your caseworker know ASAP. This baby will be placed with a family within 24-48 hours."

My heart jumped from my chest. I called Josh and read the notice to him. He was quiet for maybe 20 seconds and said, "Yes, call Larry." And so I did. I love the answer I got, "What are you talking about? I've been on vacation all last week and have no idea what you are talking about. Call the agency." Ahhh yes, the old I have no idea answer. Always comforting. :) The agency however was on top of it!

After a series of phone calls and Josh and I doing some private prayers at our place of business, we asked to be put into the pool for consideration. I simply couldn't speak of this child without my heart rate increasing and my mother alarm going off......LOUDLY. I was cautious and wanted to protect my heart. However it had other plans, I remember saying, "I know I am supposed to be involved somehow. Even if it is just to raise my hand and say I want this child. I love this child already. I would choose to be the mother." We were advised the child was a boy and that if we were chosen we could be bringing a child home by the end of the week.

LDSFS kept calling me and asking if I had other questions, I felt like I was failing some quiz. Shoot, was I supposed to have other questions? I just knew I wanted them to pray about us. It felt so right. So I called Josh and asked him to call with some questions. He is much better at that then me. He did and was told several things, the birth parents wanted LDSFS to choose the adoptive parents and they wanted a closed adoption. We spent that night praying that this valiant boy would find the eternal family he belonged to. That the birth parents would find comfort in their choice and that all involved would be guided to find the right place for him, whether that be with us or not.

Tuesday morning we heard from LDSFS again, Larry our caseworker called and said, "You have been chosen! We will call you with more details soon!" It was crazy!! We were elated. Josh and I finally felt we could call our immediate family and let them know. One brother screamed and cheered. It was another brother's birthday. It was fun to call and tell him, "Hey I got you and awesome birthday present this year, a nephew!!" Everyone went berserk. This moment was years in the making and people simply rejoiced!

Six hours later we got another call, "So...things have changed. Other families would like to be considered and the birth parents would like to be involved in making the decision. So just hold on." Everyone always says adoption is a roller coaster but talk about up and downs folks. Within a 6 hour span I was going to be a mom and then I was suddenly back in the waiting line. And so we waited and started praying. We didn't call our siblings back and tell them things might be called off...we simply flew by blind faith at this point.

Wednesday night on my drive home from work I received another phone call...bracing for what I thought might be a no I buffeted the phone call with many questions. Finally the caseworker cut me off and said, "You have been chosen, again. We want you to come to the hospital and meet him!" And then he asked me the silliest question ever, "How soon can you be to the hospital?" "How about now!!!" However, it was late in the day and we had to be escorted by caseworkers to the hospital and so it was decided that we would meet Thursday late afternoon.

Thursday afternoon we arrived at LDSFS and headed to the hospital. It was all very surreal. I was going to meet my son! He was in the NICU because he needed to learn to eat and regulate his temperature. We could handle that! I figured we'd be there a week and then we'd be home! And so we walked through those doors and the moment we said hello will always be with me. It was brief but it was magic. We quickly met a whole slew of people. Hospital caseworkers, nurses, doctors, physical therapists, speech therapists, they just kept showing up. We were taken through his health conditions and his potential pending challenges. But what we couldn't stop admiring was the way he seemed to wisely look at us, his strength and his perfect skin. Once things settled down, we were allowed to hold him and feed him, all the while trying to find his name.

We had a list, one we'd sort have always worked on and revised over our 9 years of marriage. Baby names is sort of a favorite topic of mine. So we debated and talked and called him one name for an hour, then another, but Elliot just kept coming forward. You would say, "Hello Elliot!" And he would turn his little face towards you. We just knew that was his name. And in Josh's family you pass on a male family name as a the middle name and so he became Elliot Scot.

We got another surprise that day! His birth parents came to meet us! It was good, we like them and we felt that they liked us. We talked to them about our desire to have an open adoption and our hope to see more of them. Since that initial meeting, we have seen each other several time and each time I find myself more and more sweet on them. I simply want to wrap my arms around them and find some way to transfer all the hope and love this act of placing their child with us has given me. We hope our relationship will grow.

Oh and remember how I said I thought it would only be a week or so until we got to take Elliot home from the hospital? Try three weeks! Elliot battled at the beginning but he has come home strong, handsome and ready to own this town! We are still working on our eating skills, but we see improvement every day. I suspect it won't be much longer until he is eating like a champ, waking me up at all hours and running the house and we couldn't be more delighted.

11 comments:

Anne said...

Oh Ellen I am so happy for you guys and loved reading more about how your sweet baby's story. He looks so cute and I can't wait to meet him. Hope you guys are doing well and don't hesitate to call if we can help somehow!

Ashley Harris said...

That was a beautiful recording of this experience. When you said that they told you others were being considered - even though I already know that you were ultimately chosen - it took my breath away. What a stressful, difficult time!!! I'm so happy for you and for Elliot! You will be the best parents!! Tears are flowing over here my friend. Just so overjoyed for you all!

nevedobson said...

this is fabulous!!! i'm so excited for you and josh. what a special little spirit you have been blessed with. elliot scot is one lucky baby!

Que and Brittany's Adoption Journey said...

I'm so excited for you guys! He is beautiful and I can't wait to hear more about your precious new addition to your family. :)

Cheryl said...

We are beyond excited for you too!!! We have always thought that you would be amazing parents! Lots of love and congratulations to you all!!!

Carolyn said...

Tears here too! Love the label for your post! I'm just so thrilled for you and Josh and Elliot! What a happy family! I'm so glad he is doing well. Let us know if we can do anything to help. :)

StaceyC. said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story! It was beautifully written,although hard to read through tear-filled eyes. We love baby Elliot and couldn't be happier for the 3 of you!

Anonymous said...

Josh and Ellen,

Lana called last night and told us of your good news about Elliot. We couldn't be more delighted and are excited to meet our great grandson in March, 2012. All our love, Grandpa and Grandma Branson

Ashley said...

This is amazing. Thank you for sharing. I saw the thing on facebook and prayed he'd find his family. I'm so glad that he did. Congratulations.

Anonymous said...

If anyone deserves this it is you two. You'll be great parents to Elliot, I know it. Congratulations!

Hugs,
Christine

AW Cake! said...

crying as I read this. Love you guys!